IN 'MURICAN
Thank you so much for your money. We'll spend it getting drunk and feeding
our illegitimate children. What's left after taxes and exes will all go to selfish
causes.
But before we leave you, here are some instructions on how to use your new
Valco headphones. They must be the best headphones you could afford. Don't
worry, we can't afford better ones either.
Not that it matters since the sound of these headphones has been perfected
by Jasse Kesti. In case you didn't know, Jasse is one of the best audio techni-
cians in Finland, if not Europe.
If you think there's something wrong with the audio quality, the headphones
are probably buggered, meaning you should see about servicing them by sen-
ding your complaints to [email protected].
Part I: Placement on head
We recommend wearing the headphones with the headband facing up and the
headphone parts over your ears.
If you're not sure which part is the headband and which is the headphone,
turn them over in your hands until you find some buttons. The buttons are in
the headphone parts.
If you suffer from elephantiasis or have an otherwise lumpy head, you may
find some other position better than the traditional "headband up".
We've also seen a position used where one headphone is in front of your face
and the other on the back of your head.
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